I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
