I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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