Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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