Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
