I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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