I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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