the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
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