a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Randomize
