When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Randomize
