party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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