Do you still have your period?
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
