your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Pants are for mortals
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
