Need sex. Gaining weight.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
