2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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