I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
