census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Randomize
