you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Randomize
