apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
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