I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
