Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
