Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
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