so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize
