We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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