your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
