I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
