hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I'm way too hungover for life right now
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
