Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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