you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
