I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
