My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
