tell your sister to shave her snatch
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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