why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
