I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
