lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Randomize
