ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
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