She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
