You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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