Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
he laminated a picture of his dick.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
