I was born with a shot glass in my hand
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
