Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
