You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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