Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
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