My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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