Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
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