Ambien. No doubt about it.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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