Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
