We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Randomize
