ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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