If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
