I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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