I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
